Recently, my mom took the kids and I to see the new Cinderella movie. My mom thought it would be fun to get all dressed up to go, and so Olivia also dressed up. They both looked so wonderful and dressing up helped make the movie even more magical.
It really is such a charming movie. It is so positive and although at times bad and sad things happen, the overwhelming theme is goodness. I have thought about it's message a lot, especially over the last several weeks.
The last year has been difficult for us. We have gone through some of the biggest challenges we have ever faced as a family and I must admit my faith has been deeply tested. While things always seem to work out with each new situation we face, my faith in people has greatly diminished. I keep wondering, what has happened to kindness? What has happened to people caring about each other?
I know that we get so caught up in our own lives that it is hard to see those around us, but we need each other. We need just a small moment or act of kindness from someone each day. When someone is ill we can rally around them and support them through it. When a job is lost we can offer comfort and support. When a friend has conflict or a concern that needs talking through we can offer a listening ear, without judgement. All of these things I have really struggled through recently, but instead of feeling buoyed up by people around me, I have felt like I am a bad person for being weak. For having everyday struggles, illness and human frailty. I have felt judged and misunderstood. I have felt so deeply alone.
I read a great article in The Ensign recently called It Isn't A Sin To Be Weak.
I love this sentence: "It is crucial to understand that while sin inevitably leads us away from God, weakness, ironically, can lead us toward Him."
All of these things my family is experiencing can lead me/us toward him. I just find it so sad that along the way I have felt so alone in the journey. Kindness has been discarded and forgotten.
I am trying to find my way to Heavenly Father. I want to be with him. In order for me to get there I need to be here on the earth serving and loving those around me. I want to have courage and be kind. I hope that these experiences will lead me to look at others deeply. To help them through the hard times and through what we all experience, human weakness.
2 comments:
Your blog makes me sad. I'm sorry that you feel judged and uncared for...especially when I know how much you serve others and have such pure intentions. Your love of goodness and kindness has been followed by your actions. How sad that others don't reciprocate!!
It seems that sometimes people are so full of their own opinions and judgements that they lack insight and compassion towards others. People often DO the right thing, but they don't think the right thing: "Take a meal...sure. Babysit someone's kid...no problem. Think kindly and help those who are struggling...are you kidding--it's their own fault."
Judging others because they are sick, or unemployed, or down-hearted is weakening. Loving people as they are and appreciating them--no matter their situation--is strengthening to the person in need and the giver.
President Hinckley asked this question (2006, before he was prophet):
Why do any of us have to be so mean and unkind to others? Why can’t all of us reach out in friendship to everyone about us?
He concluded with:
There is no end to the good we can do, to the influence we can have with others. Let us not dwell on the critical or the negative. Let us pray for strength; let us pray for capacity and desire to assist others. Let us radiate the light of the gospel at all times and all places, that the Spirit of the Redeemer may radiate from us.
In the words of the Lord to Joshua, brethren, “be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God [will be] with thee whithersoever thou goest” (Josh. 1:9).
Oh Shannon, I am so sorry you are struggling! I think it takes more strength to be "real" with people than to put on a happy face. But, it is so hard to be "real", because it means opening yourself up to judgment. I've been thinking a lot about an idea I heard the other day. Something about how Satan would love for us to all have trouble-free lives, because then we would have no reason to turn to the Lord. Anyway, Love you girl! Hang in there!
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