The New (and Mighty) Chief Cultural Enforcement Officer

At work, I recently undertook a new assignment. I'm now officially in charge of what my department calls "Cultural Enforcement." As Chief Cultural Enforcement Officer (or the CCEO), I'm responsible for keeping our mini fridge and one shelf of our book shelves stocked with snacks, arranging birthday lunches, getting our department out to see movies, and maintaining the morale of the Epicenter (or Marketing Department). Today, I sent out my first official edict. I present it forthwith for the purpose of general merriment :).

Herein an extremely official edict from the Commanding Epicenter Epicurean, President of the Let's-Get-This-Party-Started Committee, and the Chief Cultural Enforcement Officer, His Majesty Neal Ethan Ignatio Maximus Jenks Esq. the Third (Hereafter the "CCEO"):

Declaration 1

Whereas citizens of the Epicenter have duly and dutifully applied their noses to the proverbial grindstone upon various and sundry occasions, and whereas the entire company revolves around the activities of said Epicenter, all citizens are to quit forthwith any and all workaholic tendencies and surrender to the might and whims of the CCEO upon demand, whether such demands involve anniversary of birth commencement ceremonies (Hereafter "birthday lunch(es)"), participation in digital surround sound cinema display experiences, paying homage to both past and current Rock luminaries via Rock Band Video Game participation, and/or general boogeying and getting-down-with-one's-bad-self activities.

Declaration 2

All citizens shall immediately submit requests for the purchasing of rations from the Costco wholesale food club and tasty sample attainment facility. Current records indicate the following requests already received as:

• Dill pickles


• Trail Mix

Any requests not received by or before 5:00p of the 21st day of November, 2008, are subject to immediate dismissal and great amounts of ridicule. Furthermore, any requests received by or before the aforementioned time and date are STILL subject to immediate dismissal and great amounts of ridicule based on the Judgement of General Yumminess Standards of the CCEO.

 

Declaration 3

All citizens shall immediately submit the most appropriate day and time for their birthday lunch ceremonies. Failure to comply with Declaration 3 will result in immediate subjugation of all non-compliance citizens to removal of one (1) Man Card.

Declaration 4

All citizens shall immediately, or as the thought or thoughts occur to them, submit ideas for Cultural Enforcement activities to the CCEO. Failure to comply to Declaration 4 will result in incessant whining and intermittent falsified flatulence from the CCEO.

Signed,

His Majesty Neal Ethan Ignatio Maximus Jenks Esq. the Third (That's MR. JENKS to you, bub)

Commanding Epicenter Epicurean

President of the Let's-Get-This-Party-Started Committee

Chief Cultural Enforcement Officer

(for real)

Neal's Halloween Costume

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure (or pain), here is this year's Halloween Costume. Also, for those of you who aren't as obsessively nerdy a follower of the Muppets as I am, I'm Pepe the Prawn. Yes, it did take a long time and a good amount of money to make. No, I haven't looked into therapy (yet).

When Jesus Comes Again

Joseph had his friend, Kayden, over for lunch today. As they were eating, Kayden started telling me about a little boy he had seen on TV that was sick and had to go to the hospital. I asked him how that made him feel and he said...."I felt sad to see that boy so sick, but Jesus can make him better."

Me: "That's right he can."
Kayden: "When Jesus comes again it will be wonderful, but we will have to move our cars probably."
Me: "That's true, we might have to."
Kayden: "Jesus has power over death."
Me: Yes he does, isn't that wonderful? What will you tell Jesus when he comes again?"
Kayden: "I will tell him I love him and give him a hug."
Me: I will tell him I love him too....Joseph what would you say?"
Joseph: "Well, he would probably be hungry so I would give him some food."
Kayden: "Yeah, he might want some fruit."
Joseph: "And I would thank him for being the Saviour of God."
Me: "I think I will do that too."

What a sweet experience that little conversation was for me! To tell you the truth, I hadn't even thought about Jesus today, but those two little boys helped me remember him. It was a brief, but precious gift.

I hope in the next 2 months, and not JUST at Christmastime, I will remember the Saviour and what he has done for me. Thank you Kayden & Joseph for sharing your sweet faith & testimony with me today!

Grumps

I'm grumpy because I have a double chin :)

A few days ago I was quite grumpy. I started the day off alright, but then as the day wore on I just started feeling sooooo grumpy. It didn't help that the thyroid medication I'm taking makes me feel so hot....so by 4pm I was hot AND burning with anger inside. I could not figure out why I was feeling so bad...but finally decided it had to do with the stress's of life... AND I had been reading a blog of a woman who is perfect. So, I think that's what was bugging me. Too much perfection from someone else, and I was jealous...and prideful. And I just let it bug me that I wasn't like that.

So I called my sister in law, Darci. She is this amazing, calm, spiritual steady girl who listened to me complain. I hardly let her talk at all. Ijust complained and expressed my grumpiness and she listened. It was exactly what I needed and it made me feel better. And then the next day she sent me this email. I loved it so much I had to share it.

Hey Shannon,
I'm sorry you had a grumpy day. Yesterday was a doozie for me. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, at 5:30am. Grrr. I laid on the couch and tossed and turned trying not to wake anyone else. I remembered something from the Ensign I read Sunday. I hope this makes you laugh. On page 56 of the October issue is a statement about being happy. Here goes: "Learn how to act better than you feel. Some might ask, isn't that hypocritical? Certainly not. You might not be able to choose how you feel, but you can choose how you act." So I thought to myself that I'd better at least look happier, even if I wasn't. So I pasted on a fake smile for myself to practice. I imagine that I looked like one of those little troll dolls, unkempt hair, big plastic smile and kind of creepy. But next time, it can only improve. The kids figured out pretty quick that I was having a bad day. Nora even said, "Man, you're cranky today!" It's a good thing she can keep me in line when I forget my plastic smile.

Anyway, that woman you were talking about. Oh, she can have her shinning moment. But some day she will be the one who is crying. We all take our turn. Plus, who's to say her hair, kids and pie always turn out perfect. She can post just the best of days and look like a barbie mom. Wasn' it the great Nacho Libre that said, "Forget about it".

Maybe you have more burdens than you're giving yourself credit for my dear. I think 4 came up in conversation and I can think of 2 more big ones. So here is a quote about that: " It may not come quickly, but there is purpose in the time it takes...You will indeed find that 'his angels have charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up' (Matthew 4:6)... Cherish your spiritual burdens because God will converse with you through them and will use you to do his work if you will carry them well." - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland in "The Inconvenient Messiah" It makes me feel good every time I read that. Well, enough yapping, I gotta go do paperwork. I'd better get a big ole smile ready for that one.
Love ya, Darc

Thank you Darci for being a sweet friend and sister, and mostly for helping me through my grumpy day. I love you!

P.S. I do not hate the lady in the blog anymore.

No longer a cat lover

i hate these DAMN cats



they just tore up some carpet in my bedroom.

Mother.....what Mother?

I have finally figured out how to be
a mother to Olivia.

Stay out of her way and let her
do what she wants!

Blanket Update

Joseph and the lost blanket


Joseph has been doing really well with his new baby blankets. I
on the other hand have been quite emotional!

Childhood passes so quickly...losing a baby blanket is
just the beginning of changes to come.