December Bishopric Newsletter Message: The Real Gifts of Christmas

Neal here. Here is this month's Bishopric Newsletter Message. After a rather disenchanting Black Friday experience, I knew what I wanted to write about. Merry Christmas all!


This year, I thought it’d be fun to join the throngs of shoppers in the wee hours of Black Friday. “Fun” probably isn’t the first term that comes to mind when you think of the busiest shopping day of the year, but I was intrigued by what my wife and others had said about the long lines, the merchandise flying off the shelves, and the shoppers temporarily shedding civility and logical thought for the sake of snatching unbelievable bargains. That, I thought, I have to see at least once in my lifetime. So, at 4:45 am, I arrived in the parking lot of a large department store, ready for anything.

Oh, sorry. Did I say anything? I wasn’t quite ready for that. There were two lines leading into the store’s two doors, each longer than a football field, winding like elephantine serpents in and out and around the parking lot. Once inside, I was greeted by an ocean of ravenous consumers. I looked in every direction and saw only the tops of heads, piles of merchandise, and lurid store signs. I could only move around the store with a great deal of patience and a small amount of jostling. Once I finally managed to reach the back of the store to seek out the only item for which I held any significant interest, I found only a couple sad remains at the bottom of a voluminous bin, no doubt packed to the brim only minutes before. Later on, I even witnessed two undercover cops taking down a would-be shoplifter. I arrived home about two hours after leaving, grateful to slip back into bed for a while.

After such a morning, I feel constrained to pose this question: Have we perhaps lost a little perspective on the true meaning and intention of Christmas? I’m certainly not opposed to buying gifts for those we love, but does the giving and getting of gifts have to reach such a fevered, frenzied pitch that we forget basic kindness, civility, and love for our fellow man? During the Holidays, have Big Box stores become Rock Stars that we, as groupies, worship with unhealthy devotion?

How ironic that Christmas has become synonymous not only with Christ but with consumerism. This is the time of year when love of the Savior should permeate our every action, but if we’re not careful, our zeal to provide gifts can downgrade the motivation behind giving those gifts. For example, have you ever gone into debt to buy every item on your list? Have you ever failed to devote a portion of our resources to the poor? Have you ever been guilty of using gifts to “keep up with the Joneses”, satisfy your own vain ambitions, or prove yourself a worthy provider for your family? If you answered “yes” in any degree, you may be making the dangerous transition from Christian to hard-core consumer.

Another great irony is that so often, in our effort to find “the perfect gift,” we end up buying an expensive nothing. We would be wise to remember not to “spend money for that which is of no worth, nor [our] labor for that which cannot satisfy” (2 Nephi 9:51).

In the 2000 film adaptation of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the Grinch sneers at the worthlessness of the Whos’ Christmas gifts: “That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about. Gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts. You want to know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage! I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice—the avarice never ends! ‘I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue.’” No wonder Whoville’s most sweet and innocent citizen, little Cindy Lou Who, observed: “Everybody seems too kerbabbled. Isn't this just a little superfluous?”

The most valuable gifts are rarely the most costly; gifts that express love, compassion, and above all, charity are those that the receiver will cherish most. And more often than not, those are the gifts that cost close to nothing. As Mother Teresa once said, “we can do no great things, only small things with great love.” (Life in the Spirit, ed. Kathryn Spink (1983), 45)

To resist the natural urge to sacrifice endless resources to our economic idols, and to give gifts that demonstrate true charity, I recommend adding the following gifts to your list:

For our families, I recommend the gift of patience, the gift of I-Love-You’s (Honestly, no matter how many you give, you can always stand to have more in stock), the gift of time, the gift of sharing toys with siblings, the gift of doing the dishes, the gift of obedience to parents, the gift of helping with homework, the gift listening intently to a spouse—these gifts are certainly those that keep on giving.

If you still feel absolutely compelled to spend money, decide right now to purchase at least one gift saturated with love. My mother once bought my father a rather inexpensive Christmas ornament accompanied by a hand-written note. The note described how it symbolized her feelings for him. His tears attested that he would cherish that small gift above all others that year.

For our fellow men, I recommend the gift of Sub-for-Santa or Secret Santa (there are many other worthy methods for giving to those in need, but I’ll focus on those for now).

While in college, I was called as a Family Home Evening Group Leader in our Ward. As any student can confirm, the Christmas season carries with it a lot more stress than the normal Holiday hustle and bustle. The Holiday Season is also Final Exam Season. In the midst of these hefty time constraints, I felt deeply impressed to include my FHE Group in a Sub-for-Santa program. This impression concerned me. I knew there would be a huge time commitment, and I knew that asking fellow-students to contribute already-limited resources to the cause would be a tough sell. Fortunately, the spirit gave me confidence in addition to the idea, so I started plowing in hope. Our Sub-for-Santa commitment wasn’t easy, but thanks to the assistance of a devoted FHE group and a loving Heavenly Father, we came up with ample food and gifts for a single mother and two children who otherwise would have gone empty-handed. How I grateful I am that I followed through on that prompting. I certainly received exponentially more than I gave.

For the Savior, I recommend that we give only what He has asked us to give. “And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit” (3 Nephi 9:20), and “if ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15). Jesus has asked only that we give our repentance, our humility, and our willingness to follow Him.

To make our offering a reality, may I make a simple suggestion? Take a moment this month to sit down with paper in hand, and prayerfully write down a few gifts you’d like to give the Lord. The gift could be that of daily scripture study, of morning and evening prayers, of regular Family Home Evenings, of weekly church attendance, of loving and consistent Home or Visiting Teaching, or of forgiveness that you have previously been unwilling to give. When you’re finished, seal the suggestions in an envelope. Put the envelope in an easy-to-remember location. Then, when Christmas comes again, open the envelope and see how you did. Surely your gift to the Savior will not be forgotten, and surely He will give back in ways you cannot imagine.

May the Lord guide us as we resist consumerism and strive to give gifts of true value. It is my testimony that, if you do, this could be your most memorable Christmas ever.

Wishing you the very best this Christmas Season,
Brother Jenks