9/11: 10 Years Later

Neal wrote this post to his family a few days ago and it was so poignant to me I had to share:


"I revisited the feelings I had ten years ago about 9/11. Mercifully, we had Stake Conference yesterday, so I had the chance to think about something NOT involving Church responsibilities. I watched a lot of 9/11 TV specials and attended a neighborhood observance. The observance was quite poignant. We were outside on the Evergreen Court basketball court as an unseasonal chill descended and light rain fell. Tim Goodman, an LDS recording artist, sang some terrific patriotic tunes while several Old Glories flapped in the wind, posted on the lawn adjacent. I was suddenly struck, as we all huddled together under blankets determined to observe Patriot Day regardless of the weather, how similar our little gathering was to our nation as a whole ten years ago. We all faced an unexpected storm, but our determination to draw close won the day.

I was also painfully reminded throughout the day how little my feelings have healed since then. There's still this raw, sensitive hole close to my heart, and I'm still deeply moved by the mere ghost of my memories.

Ten years ago, I was a newlywed of only a few months. My life between marriage and 9/11 was a blur of quixotic happiness. Shannon and I had time to burn with each other, plenty of money, I had a great new job that I loved, and we both had unfettered optimism about our lives. Then, that morning, I awoke before Shannon, got ready for work, and flipped on the news as I ate breakfast. Like many of you, I was shocked but not overly-alarmed by what I saw. A plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. "I'm sure it was an accident," I said to myself. "Certainly some people have died, but the building is still standing. It could have been a lot worse." Still, I was concerned enough that I called Shannon's attention to the TV screen. It was about five minutes later that the second plane struck the other tower. At that moment, our lives turned upside down. The world where bad men only occasionally got away with REALLY heinous acts was gone. We were under attack. And that wasn't the only manifestation of my upside-down world.

I arrived at work about 40 minutes late that day, only to be excused from work about two hours later. "Go home," my boss said. "Go be with your families. My heart isn't here today, and I'm sure yours isn't either."

Ten days later, as a direct result of 9/11 and the subsequent economic downturn, my boss excused me from work permanently.

It took me years to get my career back on track. I had to turn my back on the career of my dreams (computer animation) to something I enjoyed but not nearly as much. It was three years and five jobs later when I finally managed to make the kind of money I made before 9/11. During that time, I struggled and scavenged, I wrestled with anger and fear in equally unprecedented degrees, and I felt lonely and lost. I have since regained my hope for the future, thanks to a loving God who cares deeply about me and is involved in the details of my life. But for years, I just couldn't make ends meet, couldn't see a future that included any measure of personal success, and couldn't find my old sense of swagger.

All of that was a direct result of Osama Bin Laden and the soulless bastards who follow him.

I know I'm preaching to the choir, here, but we can't forget. To be more specific, we can't forget to act. We cannot, as a nation, cease our resolve to chase terrorists to the ends of the earth, regardless of the sacrifice. We cannot for a second lose our love of country, even though our current President's policies have horribly weakened it. We cannot slide in our personal and emergency preparedness. Most of all, we can't stop seeking to be the very best citizens we can be.

God bless America. God help our beloved Union to never forget."