I know I shouldn't vent publicly, but I figured no one reads this blog anyway, so why not?
I joined the PTA last May and I regret to say that I did not research the position before accepting it. One mother told me they needed a PTA President-Elect. That sounded harmless enough to me and they were desperate, so I told them I would do it. Neal has not stopped making fun of me since. Why did I not look into what I was getting myself into? I really am going to do my best and feel grateful to be with my kids so much at school, but if I could I would stay in my home/cave and never have people look at me or look to me to be in charge. Instead I am going to be front and center (especially next year) and I don't want to do it!
I was supposed to start my "Sex Goddess Diet" on September 1st. I am turning 40 next May and I really want to look my best before I plummet into middle age. But the problem is, I have no desire. I want it to happen instantly and I don't want to make the effort! So, instead of working really hard and changing my habits, I have done nothing to change and am eating worse then ever. Blah.
I have read a certain blog for several years that I really looked to for help and parenting advice. She helped me be a better parent and taught me to love being a mother. But recently her blog has become to much for me. I guess if it bothers me so much I should stop reading it.
The truth is, I am probably jealous. I know that she has gone through tremendous struggles in the last several years, but I wish she would realize that the general audience that she is speaking to, does not live the ideal lifestyle that she does. I don't mean to offend anyone that knows her, and I especially don't want to offend her. She has helped me in ways that she will never know. I even met her once at Costco. Well....I went up to her and hugged her. I felt that she needed to know how much she had helped me.
I know that most bloggers write about the good things in their lives. We don't see all of the struggles, the pain and the stress that goes on behind the scenes. So why am I struggling with her? I realize her life isn't as perfect as it seems. Can anyone else explain this to me and do they feel the same way? Does my frustration even make sense?
Anyway, I could keep venting but I should just stop now. I don't want anyone to feel bad about what I am saying, they are just things I am thinking about and want to figure out in my own life.
7 comments:
Oh, I understand. I post only the good things too. Honestly, if I posted the bad, my blog would be 4 times as long. I do have a hard time looking at other blogs sometimes, especially if they are doing what I want or have something I wish I had. I have a hard time understanding the way things work out but I am hoping that I am learning patience and to rely on the Lord. I hope things get better.
There is a story about this in First Things First. Lady walks into a store and sees a book a friend wrote and spirals into "well she has a nanny and a cook and blah blah blah and that's why has time to write.". She shocks herself and leaves the store and while thinking realizes this lady is a mirror to herself. Deep down she wants to write a book and exercise more and whatnot but wasn't doing it. This has been life changing for me!! When I feel like you I try to really think and pray about whether those things are for me and for my family. Are my priorities in line? If the answer is yes, it is easy to shrug and move on. If not, I need to make changes. Don't know if that is the case with you.
I read your blog! Life is always a struggle, isn't it? I wish you the best with your goals and busy life. You are such a sweet and giving person, I know you do much good in this world! And I really am jealous you get to be so close to Heidi. :)
Hey Shannon, I read your blog too! I get, let's be honest, jealous when I read her blog too--the thing that gets me is how amazing she is at finding the great things in life regardless of what lot she's been cast. It definitely gives me something to work toward. She radiates beauty because she truly feels beautiful.
I think you are such a great person, and I hope someday you can feel like you are too.
I read your blog Shannon! I love people who are honest about their feelings, instead of trying to make it appear that they are perfect, never jealous, never crabby, never tired. Keep on keepin' on!
PTA president is no small task! There was a wonderful mom at our school who got stuck in the position not being told the truth about how much work it was either. She was one of the best though and she did it for her year and was done! You will be great, put in your couple of years and know that you are doing a wonderful service; and let me know if you ever want help with things, even though I don't have a kid at your school!
For some reason I can read certain blogs and love all that they do and others make me jealous, not sure what it is...but I think blogs are usually people's way of capturing happy moments so even though the "unperfect" parts are not being blogged about regularly you are definitely not the only one to worry about such things and need a good vent!
You are wonderful!! Good luck with all you have to do and don't be afraid to go to people for help! Love ya!
Hang in there. You can read my blog and all my vents. I do my best to keep it real! I know that you will be a great PTA President and that you can do hard things! "Just Keep Swimming!" That's become my mantra. Love you!
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