Ups and Downs

Last week was really hard.


Olivia keep's crying because "there is nothing to do."

I quit my job at NuSkin after 15 1/2 years.

A childhood friend died last Wednesday morning from sudden cardiac arrest. He was 35 with a wife, 3 children and one on the way. He kissed his wife goodnight and when she woke up in the morning he was gone.


~I told Olivia if she didn't find something to do I would give her something to do.

~I am so happy I quit my job. The office management has gotten increasingly worse over the last few years and I was struggling with my Japanese calls. They refused to take me off the Japanese line, so I quit. I didn't even give my two weeks notice. Hah! Shove it NuSkin!

~My friend Justin was just about as perfect as a person could be on earth. It is tragic that he died and left behind a beautiful family. I know there is a purpose for it, but oh, it breaks my heart. The day he died, his mother, who also helped raise me, found out she has bone cancer and she and her husband would have to come home from their mission in Rome. Triple tragic day.


It is so weird to feel so sad and so happy all at the same time. Dealing with crazy kids, quitting my job and losing a friend really makes me feel like I am riding an emotional roller coaster. Up and Down, up and down. I think I'm going to be sick.

Decapitated

Olivia's favorite stuffed animal, Tashi, recently had an accident.



Tashi was once a sweet, pink, cute little stuffed kitty. She has brought hours of
fun and joy to our girl. But, this week she lost her head.

I have to say that Neal and I laughed ourselves silly. That gray little piece of crap has wreaked havoc so many times in the last several years. Liv cannot sleep without Tashi, and she is just small enough that if not properly looked after, will go missing for days.

I had hoped that after I laughed hysterically for a while Olivia would laugh too and decide to just throw Tashi away. But, of course she cried forever, so I did my duty and sewed the little buggers head back on. It looks like Tashi is still a member of the family.

Make your own free picture slideshow

Infertility Sucks

I just had to say it. I have been sick as a dog for the last 3 weeks and I thought maybe, just maybe this was it. But my body decided to play a big trick on me. I have had all of my typical symptoms of pregnancy. Headaches, nausea, gagging and dry heaving when I brush my teeth, extreme hunger, extreme cravings, cramping and my abdomen swelling like a watermelon and worst of all, smells that make me sick. Turns out though what I thought for sure was a pregnancy, is just the red coats on the march!

I have prayed, fasted, talked through and exhausted myself with knowing what to do. Neal and I have been tested and there is no reason why we shouldn't be able to have more children. I have 30 pounds to lose, but I don't think that is a huge contributing factor. Maybe it is.

I have had a lot of peaceful moments about this in the last 3 1/2 years, but I have also had my share of anger, frustration, desperation, heartache and guilt. I have tried to have hope and remain faithful, but I admit that a lot of times I push those hurt feelings deep down and in turn feel resentment and sadness. Doesn't Heavenly Father trust me with another child? I know that is a crazy thing to wonder, but I do wonder. I know there must be a reason why it hasn't happened yet, but for now it is killing me. This is one of the biggest, if not the biggest trial I have ever experienced in my life. It really, really sucks!

Word Of The Day

On Sunday I put in the church video "On The Way Home" to help the kids settle down a little bit. I have seen that video hundreds of times, but had totally forgotten that they use the word "sex" in the video. Well, Neal just happened to walk in the door when that word was said and we both kind of grimaced and hoped the kids wouldn't ask. But then one of us (I don't remember who) asked Joseph what sex means because, aren't all parents curious to know what their 7 year old child would know about sex?

Joseph said "I totally know what sex is. It's when you're super fancy and rich."

Neal and I looked at each other and exploded with laughter, which Joseph took as a sign that he must be really smart. When I told one of my sisters what he said she asked why we didn't tell him the real meaning of sex. I didn't want to have that discussion on a Sunday morning and then have my kid keep asking me question after question...or heaven forbid someone else. I also thought back to when I was 20 and became a nanny for 7 year old twin boys. Those two little stinkers knew far to much about sex for their own good. So, we will have the sex talk at some point, but for now I will take the fancy and rich version of the word!

Just to take it a little further, at dinner the same night we asked the kids to define several words for us. This is what they came up with:

Omnipotent: scaredy cat

Accomplice: something you hang on the wall

Flatulence: getting tied up

Homogeneous: flying

Iridescent: pretty

Demure: stupid

Gonorrhea: means you have a barbie house

Putrid: going potty

Evanescence: chewed up

Complication: going on a camp out, building a fire and eating marsh mellows

Bemused: faker

Christmas at Home

We stayed home for Christmas this year and although I felt extremely homesick, I'm still glad we did. Besides the extreme business of the month, we got to partake in some wonderful activities. I unfortunately only took a few pictures during the month. Here are few to enjoy!


A family favorite: matching Christmas pajamas.


Beautiful Temple Square.


Christmas morning aftermath. Does every one's house look like a tornado hit or is it just mine?


Waiting patiently on the stairs for our tradition of "The Nutcracker" music to start. That's the go signal for running down the stairs.


The young version of Santa Claus. The kids were a little confused, but still seemed happy to meet him.

My Kids Say Funny Things

Olivia: "Joseph, you need a woman in your life. I want to marry you."

Me: "Joseph what was your favorite part of school today?" Joseph: "Leaving."

Joseph: "If you don't fight for your dreams, it will haunt your for the rest of your life!"

We went to McDonald's after visiting my grandpa recently because we were all so hungry. I just wanted to get some chicken nuggets for the kids to share, but Olivia thought I was getting a happy meal. She said, "I wonder what toys we'll get in our happy meal. I told her we aren't getting happy meals. Liv: Oh, are we getting sad meals?"

Olivia: "Mom, can you help Joseph decide his attitude?"

Joseph: "I'd like to go to South America on my mission. Me: "Why South America?" Joseph: "Because I like African-American people."

Olivia: "Mom, I hammered this pear!"

I asked the kids what they wanted for dinner. Joseph said "Chicken Parmesan!"
Olivia said "Well, I'd rather have a swift kick in the butt!"

Olivia is deathly afraid of crabs. She thinks they live in our garage. She always asks me to pick her up out of the car and carry her to the door so the "crabbity crabs" don't get her shoes.

Joseph: "Mom, I need to know all of your most embarrassing moments so I don't do the same thing."

Joseph: "Mom, wake up. I think you've had a significant amount of sleep."

Joseph: "Well, if someone wants to play me on the Wii, it's there decision to get beat."